Rock Bottom
Last night I realized that I had hit rock bottom financially. I knew the bottom was looming over me (below me?) the past few months after totaling my debts and trying to make a plan to get out of debt. But it was my Mom who made me realize the actual situation I was in after asking me 'Are you in over your head again?'
Again.
I had done it again. This time I had gotten myself into $43,000 of debt. Largely credit card debt, but all debt I had created myself.
I cried. And cried. And hyperventilated. And walked around my apartment stomping my feet. I felt sorry for myself. I told my mom I was a failure, an embarrassment. She couldn't believe I had done this to myself again. I couldn't either.
What is WRONG with me? I feel like I can't breathe, and my anxiety is at an all time high. The worst part is that I did this 100% to myself. No one else did this to me, no one is to blame, except for myself.
I started getting ready to go to bed (at an extraordinarily early hour since I was having a pity party) when I got the following text from my Dad:
In case you were wondering: 1) you are sharp 2) you are beautiful 3) you have a good job 4) you are successful 5) you have a great sense oh humor 6) you are classy and practical 7) you are extraordinarily loyal to your friends and family.
Side note: News travels fast in my family, especially since I told my Mom NOT to tell my Dad what I had done. BUT, it was what I needed to hear. I am smart! I made a mess but I can get out of it. I WILL NOT do it again.
This blog is really an accountability journal for me, so if you hate it, I don't care. I DO care if my story helps your story! If I can help just 1 person feel more confident about their debt story, then my writing will have served it's purpose.
Let's do this!
Debt Duchess
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